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The Gyre Mission: Journey to the *sshole of the World

In 2018 an oceanic research vessel disappears at the site of the world’s largest floating landfill in the north Pacific gyre, leaving behind no trace of the highly prized scientific minds sent to investigate and potentially eradicate this ecological catastrophe of monstrous proportions. To recoup their losses an overly taxed (and much maligned) U.S. government resorts to plan ‘b’: they arrange a second voyage on a shoestring budget and recruit a team of disposable douchebags. Their mission? Recover the lost ship, find the scientists and figure out how to eliminate this problem once and for all.

 

Enter the gullible dominatrix, the alcohol and drug-addled ex-pro football player, the lecherous, sex-addict governor, the professional hustler, the sweet and innocent college intern with a proclivity for lesbian romance, the dour Washington D.C.-appointed marine biologist, the Missing Link, the Naval reject and the ship’s captain who is so cantankerous he’ll make you walk the plank on a good day. Together they will stop at nothing to find out the truth, but things aren’t quite what they seem on Garbage Island, and all too quickly they discover that escape is impossible.

 

Sure to be an instant classic, The Gyre Mission is a contemporary disasterpiece of horror and humor, probing humanity’s questionable morality and moribund environmental priorities. Edgar Swamp combines acerbic, satiric wit with chilling brutality and surrealistic imagery, creating a world so utterly foul you can almost smell it waft from the pages like the fetid stench of a city sewer, populated by characters you’d swear you’ve met before…in a police line-up.

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