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1-Propionyl-LSD

Very interesting report on what could be a very useful compound…for those inclined, of course.

Novel Psychoactive Substances

Introduction:

LSD is a classic and well known psychedelic drug known to be well tolerated physiologically by almost all users. Until recently very few analogues existed due to the relative difficulty of synthesising the lysergic acid backbone but in recent years constant scheduling of lower-hanging fruit has forced innovation in the novel psychoactive substance industry and a number of lysergamides have emerged as a result.

1-Acetyl-LSD (ALD-52) is somewhat notorious for its sale as “Orange Sunshine Acid” in California in the 1960s but has remained mysterious due to the theory that it might degrade to LSD combined with the slightly increased synthetic complexity putting off would-be chemists.

Despite being used to convict the manufacturers, the scientific principle behind this theory is incredibly unstable, with the acetyl group being used in laboratories around the world as a protecting group for indoles like LSD. Once attached, the group is resistant to removal…

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Posted by on February 24, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

Hawaii’s forbidden ‘Stairway to Heaven’

This is an absolutely amazing story. I want to go there, like, right now!

 
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Posted by on March 27, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

This list is awesome and I saw that I did quite a few of these things in my youth. The older we get the wiser we get, right? I certainly hope so!

 
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Posted by on March 27, 2014 in Uncategorized

 
Video

Paradise by Edgar Swamp

Expertly shot video of artist extraordinaire Edgar Swamp performing one of his classic masterpieces.

 
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Posted by on January 7, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

2013 Frankfort Book Fair, y’all!

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This blog has been about many things over the last year ever since it’s inception: funny and tragic pet sitting stories, personal health issues, rants about bad California drivers, crappy, crazy jobs I’ve had, classic alcoholic writers, pissing and moaning about moving from the west coast back to the Midwest…I’ve covered a lot of ground since I’ve been writing this. The blog was started because of a suggestion made by Penny Sansevieri, CEO of Author Marketing Experts, a literary promotional company. She told me it would be a great way to promote my novel The Gyre Mission: Journey to the *sshole of the World. But the thing is, I’d never quite understood what people read blogs for, and found that the different subject matter I touched upon was hit or miss. Looking around throughout the blog world, I found people wanted sports and news and politics and hard facts, not necessarily silly stories about animals or being inappropriately wasted in a Von’s grocery store and getting into it with the guy outside collecting money for the Salvation Army, subsequently arrested and then getting anally raped in jail by a six foot six black man named Michael Jackson. But be that as it may, I am pressing on. I suppose I could make this entry a rant about how hard it is to push a self-published book to a saturated market where traditionally published authors are fighting to gain ground, about how much money I’ve spent and seen no return on my investment (over $12,000 and counting), or how my novel is actually well written over that of the 299,000 other crappy self-published authors who are churning out zombie novels at a pace that is beyond ridiculous (anyone ever hear of Dave Moody? Hater’s and then his Autumn zombie series? Jesus Christ give me a fucking break (parenthesis within a parenthesis he is NOT self-published)!). Yes, I could go on and on and you (all of my three readers) would think that I am jealous, that I am a bad writer who is blowing off steam making fun of authors who make it onto the bestseller list and don’t have to pay to publish their own work. The fact is you might be right.
So I’ll switch gears here and talk about my latest attempt at publicity: I have my book registered and being presented both in soft cover and ebook at the 2013 Frankfort Book Fair, the largest literary event in the known universe. Folks from all over the world (over 300,000, a quarter of them members of the media) gather in Frankfort, Germany to see what the latest and greatest trends in literature are. Who’s going to be the next Stephen King, the next J.K. Rowling? Inquiring minds want to know! Even better, what the hell are those two promoting as we speak (a sequel to The Shining and a thriller, respectively)? Yes, all in all a bonafide HUGE ASS event in which my novel will be stacked amongst thousands of others in the Combined Book Exhibit bookshelves, vying for attention both in print and digital copy. And will I get any attention, this absolutely fantastic book that has so far been virtually ignored? A novel Kirkus Indie reviews called ‘Visually engaging, an irrefutably intoxicating adventure’ and ‘one big, bad-ass book’ by Kat of Bibliobabes.ca, not to mention many readers on Goodreads and Amazon.com. Every time I do a free give away I run out well before the posted closing (but I am not stupid; I’ve found SEVERAL copies immediately for sale on Amazon, listed as ‘autographed’…fucking pricks).
As no one is clamoring for this blog I can say whatever I want here. I can cuss and scream and shout and call you all a bunch of pussy faggots for not buying my book and it doesn’t matter (although I do apologize to my three readers; I am not talking about you). Because in a world full of books we, the unknowns, can only keep competing for your attention and hoping that we eventually get it. That one day it will click and you’ll say to yourself: “Holy shit! His autobiographical stuff is like David Sedaris and his horror fiction is like Stephen King. I love those fucking writers! Where have you been all of my life?”
And the answer would be: right here, sitting in front of this fucking laptop and begging you cocksuckers to at least read a free excerpt (available on my website http://www.edgarswamp.com or at Bookbuzzr (also known as Freado) or on Goodreads). It is literally everywhere. If you looked hard enough you’d find the whole copy for free somewhere (don’t ask me where, but I know it’s out there. I do a lot of stupid things when I’m drunk, just ask my neurologist).
But readers don’t want good books, they want tired crap churned out by hacks who need money to buy fourth homes in Stockholm, Sweden where they can hide inside by the fire and secretly burn journals they kept while in community college in Andover, Michigan where they had unprotected sex with minors and never got caught because their parents where on the board of review and the city council…
Yet I digress. My book is at the 2013 Frankfort Book Fair in Frankfort, Germany where I hope someone fucking sees it and picks it up, flips through it and reads something that catches their eye (if indeed I haven’t been scammed by Combined Book Exhibits and the book isn’t really there). And then maybe they’ll contact me through my website and ask to see my next book, ‘Denied’, a futuristic take on the American health care system (available in paper back and ebook in April of 2014). And soon enough people will be willing to pay to read this fucking blog but I’ll continue to give it away for free because I’m such a nice guy. Really, honest. Trust me…and buy my fucking book ($2.99 ebook for fuck’s sake available through Amazon.com). Thank you (and sorry to my three readers!).

 

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New Reviews For The Gyre Mission

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I have waited quite some time to hear what people think of my debut novel The Gyre Mission, and it is with great joy that I see the reviews are not only good, but totally freakin’ great! Check out http://www.kirkusreviews.com to read the praise they heaped upon my disgusting disasterpiece, as well as http://www.bibliobabes.ca to read what the illustrious (and ever amusing) kat thought of it (see photo above of the very lovely and talented kat). In a saturated market where everyone and anyone is publishing a book, there are actually GOOD ones out there. Mine is one of them! For a measly $4.99 you can own the book (ebook) that will be a bestseller by this time next year, and for a lousy $19 you can have the JUMBO paperback. Come on people, I know you can get free ebooks from Kindle but if you have any taste whatsoever you will realize you get what you pay for. As soon as Stephen King tells you to buy my book you’ll do it, won’t you? And then you’ll say to yourself: “Damn, this book is freakin’ awesome! Thanks for cluing me in Stephen!”
I understand it takes a lot of convincing to make a purchase, especially from some jerk-ass you’ve never heard of before with an author photo that looks like a mug shot, but simply read the free preview and see for your self if the writing is any good. And leave me some feedback. Tell me what you don’t like about it and I’ll send you something free (like a bag of burning shit!). Tell me you like it and I’ll autograph the cup I used to wear in football and send you that (limit one per household). As casual readers you have choices, millions and millions of choices. Do you want to continue giving your hard earned money to writers who’ve sold their souls for the corporate dollar (please contact me if you know who to sell my soul to) or do you want to take a chance on an unknown who might someday be seen in your town, wearing an orange jumpsuit and picking up trash alongside the road? Don’t answer too quickly, take your time. And remember, strangers are simply friends you haven’t made yet, but don’t trust them with your children or the keys to your car! Peace!

 

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The Curious Case of the Shirtless Man OR Do I Smell Astroglide?

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The Gyre Mission is my first published novel and, due to my current profession, was written at no less than forty different locations, give or take. Actually, I think it was written in more than forty places but that number seems fair enough I suppose. What, you may ask, do I do? Travel the world writing reviews of quaint hotels in scenic mountain villages, perhaps? Or possibly I am a journalist who has logged many hours in war torn countries, tirelessly compiling information so that the good people at home can stay informed? Nope and nope.

As unglamorous as it may sound I am a pet sitter/dog walker, and about three weeks out of every month I stay in other people’s homes, caring for their companion animals. I fell into it after a decade working as a veterinary technician. Pet sitting is a fine trade if you are a writer; based upon the number of pets you are caring for and the amount of time you need to spend walking, medicating, and playing with them, etc. it leaves you a lot of time to write. Of course, pet sitting alone can’t pay the bills so taking on as many regular walking clients as one can, as well as cats that need feeding, medicating and playtime helps supplement your income, unless you are like me and you wind up taking on too much. Next thing you know you are struggling to find time to write, in fact have to get up at four in the morning just to get in an hour before your day starts. Frustration!

To make the most of every day I began taking my laptop with me every place I went and if there was ever a free moment (anything, ten minutes, a half hour) I’d get something done. I wanted my clients to get their money’s worth so I never infringed upon their pet’s time, but if I had slotted them for an hour and I had another thirty minutes to kill before the next house, that time was mine.

Sometimes I was hired to walk dogs or look after cats and was warned by the client that there would be someone else in the house, an adult child, a roommate, somebody, but often times I never ran into them. Not unless I was staying past the allotted time to get some personal work done and they came home, that is.

On one occasion I was looking after three cats, showing up in the late morning to feed, medicate, brush and play with them. After I’d taken care of them I still had forty-five minutes or so, so I decided to get some writing done. A few minutes into my work a young man came in, introducing himself as the roommate. We shook hands, exchanged names, and I told him I was just getting something done and would leave shortly. He told me not to worry, to stay as long as I liked, then excused himself and went upstairs. So I continued to write, trying to regain my train of thought, when a TV was turned on, the volume quite loud. My first thought was that he was being passive aggressive; he tells me it’s all right that I am there but then tries to ‘scare’ me out with loud noise. I’d had many a roommate in my day, I knew all the tricks. I decided to finish the chapter I was working on.

But there was something not quite right with what he was viewing, that is to say the dialogue was a bit on the ‘sketchy’ side. It seemed to be a lot of groaning and panting punctuated by profanities that were demands rather than angry exclamations. Things like: “Take it you hairy bitch, take it!” Now, I am a very open minded person, I want to make that clear right now. Please do not misconstrue anything
I am about to say as being prejudice toward anyone’s sexuality. Moreover, I simply mean to convey the time and the place, the fact that it was somewhat inappropriate.

There were no female voices coming from the TV, only male. When the volume suddenly increased (indicating he’d probably opened his bedroom door) I thought it might be a good time to leave. This guy obviously wanted some privacy, probably to take matters into his own hands, so to speak.

I shut down my laptop, bade farewell to the cats and made my way to the front door, located in a large foyer next to the stairs leading to the bedrooms, framed by a wrought iron railing.

“Going so soon?” A voice floated down to me and, glancing up, I saw the young man standing there at the rail, shirtless, his torso glistening with either sweat or some water-based lubricant.

“Yes, I have to get to my next house,” I said easily, as I am accustomed to strange things happening to me. “It was nice to meet you.”

“And you as well,” he replied, rubbing his hands across his chest suggestively, tipping me a wink that was more like a leer.

Locking the door behind me I pondered my luck, the realization that if I had been of a different persuasion it might have been very flattering. That type of situation had never happened to me with a client’s female roommate, that’s for damn sure, nor did I think it likely it ever would. Regretfully, to this day it still hasn’t.

I continue to look after those cats, and I still run into the roommate from time to time. He never mentions that day, nor do I. In fact when we do talk, believe it or not, it’s about football. Go Packers!

 
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Posted by on December 4, 2012 in Uncategorized