Category Archives: ads

Promotion For Glitch In The Machine


Author photo courtesy of Aline Hernandez…

Having realized that most blogs people read are either about sports, politics, science or how to get others to read your blog I have given up the fantasy that anyone will read this, but I will continue this forum anyway despite such drawbacks. And what the hell, right? Can’t hurt. So without further adieu here is my latest post, announcing my newest book, the Sci/Fi speculative fiction masterpiece ‘Glitch In The Machine’. This book will be available in May as an ebook on, followed by the print edition in the summer of 2014. Here is the hook:

In an era of mandatory health insurance, why are everyone’s claims being denied?

It’s 2025 and America is a shell of it’s former self, staffed by a puppet government run by overseas despots and dictators. Big business has taken over, in particular health insurance companies, pharmaceutical corporations and weapons manufactures. The population is now divided between the 99%’ers and the 1%’ers, with food, drug and product testing no longer a part of the government’s social programs. In fact, there are no social programs anymore; government involvement has come to a standstill, defeated by their overlord’s crushing greed. For the 99%’ers this a nightmare world of unregulated food and drugs, one in which they are legally required to have health insurance if they wish to see a doctor, but inevitably will find their health insurance claims are regularly denied because of various ‘technicalities’. Enter Floyd Jasper, a hired killer trained by the 1% wealthy elite to sniff out fraudulent health care claims submitted by the impoverished 99%’ers and initiate a termination sequence…on their lives, that is.
His job, should he choose to accept it (and he did, oh hell yeah) is to mete out justice as he sees fit in a hail of bullets or a well-placed twist of his bone handled ‘killing knife’. He is good at what he does, a veritable one-man extermination machine, but eventually time runs out on his maniacal ways and soon the hunter becomes the hunted.
Accepting aid from a well-endowed, blood thirsty co-worker, they embark on an inquest to find out who wants him dead, only to become immersed in a world of suicide cults, megalomaniacal military leaders, population control demolitions experts and, ultimately, find he is to be groomed as the second coming of ‘Christ’ in a no holds barred, winner takes all battle royal of the classes. The 99%’ers versus the 1%’ers in a version of ‘Occupying Wall Street’ that the world has never known.
At times comically upbeat, at turns tragically brutal, Glitch In The Machine is a roller coaster, whirlwind of a novel that never pauses long enough for the reader to catch their breath. The first person narrative is reminiscent of Chuck Palahniuk, and was written from a ‘Vonnegutian’ point of view, intended for audiences who enjoyed his work, as well as that of Anthony Burgess. Glitch In The Machine is Clockwork Orange meets The Terminator with a dash of Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Bladerunner thrown in for good measure.
Look for it on as early as May 2014!


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Let’s Burn This Motherf*cker Down (The death of America)


I find that as the months pass I continue to disregard this blogs original intention, which was true stories of my pet sitting follies. Those pet sitting days are long behind me now, and so I will have to strive to make this blog more entertaining, will have to produce content that is fresh and exciting. How? Good question, but here goes…let’s start with capitalism, shall we?
I believe the infrastructure of this country is being ripped apart, that rampant consumerism drives all our desires and as individuals we are no longer anything more than a statistic, a ‘key demographic’ to some advertising agency’s bottom line. We are faceless numbers who can be pushed and swayed and brainwashed to buy crap we don’t need to fill that infinite hole in our lives created by fear, boredom, rejection, etc. We buy our children the latest toy (some absurd plush creature that appears just before holidays to rampantly devour our paychecks), rush out to see the trendy blockbuster movies with the brainless star and starlet, and the burning question that rings through our minds like good, obedient robots is: “What does the fox say?” Mindless jingles, shallow beliefs, blind greed…the American Way. Cynical enough for you? I’m just getting started!
And the joke that we, the American people, are on the international stage because of the idiots we’ve elected to lead us surely compounds our no doubt less than stellar approval rating worldwide. We make fun of the Germans for their fetishistic ‘poop porn’ and that whole ‘Nazi Thing’ when we should shut our yaps and realize we Americans live in a shrink-wrapped, disposable, would-you-like-fries-with-that world. Who the hell are we to judge? In the background I can hear Homer Simpson chanting “USA! USA! USA!”
How many other countries can boast that their government has shut down (shut down for Christ’s sake! CLOSED FOR BUSINESS!) more than three times in the last two years? You think Sweden has that problem? Canada? Mexico? (Okay, they are probably taking a decades long siesta, but you know what I mean). The heavy hitters in charge of running this place simply decided they weren’t being paid enough to show up every day so they figured they’d take a long lunch, put a Gone Fishin’ sign up and take a stroll through Washington’s red light district in search of a little relief on the taxpayers dime. And why not? Who are we, the honest (well, sort of) middle class to question what somebody who makes six figures does? Where schoolteachers are paid less than a quarter of what a congressman makes in a year (I believe the children are the future, teach them well and let them exploit each other). Did you know senators and congressman get a six-figure salary for life after they retire and in Wisconsin Governor Scott ‘Ass-Breath’ Walker wants to take away firemen and police officers pensions after they so generously gave the better part of their lives to ensure their community’s safety on a salary that is deplorable at best? You bet your ass he does! And the thing is it will probably happen!
(Note to any potential readers: I am deliberately making inflammatory statements to rile people up. Send hate letters to p.o. box eat my fucking shit, fuck you, Pennsyl-fucking-vania).
Yes, we live in a country that is becoming the modern equivalent of Ancient Rome. This government cannot continue to work like this; mark my words we will fall. To quote Jim Morrison: ‘I just want to get my kicks before the whole shithouse goes up in flames.’ Truer words were never spoken. Here is my advice: 1) buy a lot of guns, 2) start growing weed and 3) tell everyone to kiss your ass. Thank you, thank you very much, I’ll be here performing for you all week…

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Posted by on October 26, 2013 in ads, douchebags, wealthy people


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New Reviews For The Gyre Mission


I have waited quite some time to hear what people think of my debut novel The Gyre Mission, and it is with great joy that I see the reviews are not only good, but totally freakin’ great! Check out to read the praise they heaped upon my disgusting disasterpiece, as well as to read what the illustrious (and ever amusing) kat thought of it (see photo above of the very lovely and talented kat). In a saturated market where everyone and anyone is publishing a book, there are actually GOOD ones out there. Mine is one of them! For a measly $4.99 you can own the book (ebook) that will be a bestseller by this time next year, and for a lousy $19 you can have the JUMBO paperback. Come on people, I know you can get free ebooks from Kindle but if you have any taste whatsoever you will realize you get what you pay for. As soon as Stephen King tells you to buy my book you’ll do it, won’t you? And then you’ll say to yourself: “Damn, this book is freakin’ awesome! Thanks for cluing me in Stephen!”
I understand it takes a lot of convincing to make a purchase, especially from some jerk-ass you’ve never heard of before with an author photo that looks like a mug shot, but simply read the free preview and see for your self if the writing is any good. And leave me some feedback. Tell me what you don’t like about it and I’ll send you something free (like a bag of burning shit!). Tell me you like it and I’ll autograph the cup I used to wear in football and send you that (limit one per household). As casual readers you have choices, millions and millions of choices. Do you want to continue giving your hard earned money to writers who’ve sold their souls for the corporate dollar (please contact me if you know who to sell my soul to) or do you want to take a chance on an unknown who might someday be seen in your town, wearing an orange jumpsuit and picking up trash alongside the road? Don’t answer too quickly, take your time. And remember, strangers are simply friends you haven’t made yet, but don’t trust them with your children or the keys to your car! Peace!


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